Kyo's Magical Chainsaw
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: Bleh! Kyo has a chainsaw. It's magical. He kills some peoples. Makes Tohru's babies. Has a skitz attack. Yeah. Just some random thingy.


**A/N:**

**Bleh! Another oneshot. **

**MAGICAL CHAINSAW GASP.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the story that I read or Kyo. Just the magical chainsaw.**

**Warnings: A bit of funny violence, a couple of character deaths.**

**NOTE! There will be spelling mistakes. No spell check, tonight, loves.**

It glimmered before him. He ran his fingers across the blade carefully, almost as if he was putting his whole soul into it's fine work. He grinned.

"Bleh!" Kyo grabbed his magical chainsaw and hugged in tightly. He kissed it on the tip of the blade before putting it back down so he could stare at it a bit more.

His magical chainsaw was something he hadn't had for very long. Yes, it was magical; it had four primary functions, all of which couldn't be used by humans, because humans aren't magical. Only people who are part animal are magical. So anyway, this chainsaw was really cool. It was all like, shiny and new... and silver and had a rusty, red handle. Kyo didn't know why it was rusty. But it added magic to the look of it.

Kyo smirked as he stabbed Yuki multiple times through the chest... in his mind, at least. His magical chainsaw glinted in the sun light, before Kyo closed the closet door. He turned.

"Tohru?" He asked the brown-haired girl. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Only about a second," She grinned stupidly. "Like, totally."

She ran off down the hall. Kyo stared into the distance as he heard the familiar,

"Hey, stupid." The voice paused. "It's dinner time."

Kyo's eye twitched. How he loathed that creature. That thing, that being, that inhumane beast-

"Hey!"

Authoress Girl giggled. She forgot she was talking about Yuki, not Kyo.

Anyways, Kyo really hates Yuki. I'm sure you know that, right? I mean, you only don't know that if you're a total idiot. So bleh!

Kyo reached for his chainsaw and smiled.

"Hey, Rat-Face." He called. "Come here for a sec."

Yuki, from the hallway, turned around. Now, he didn't usually follow instructions from the Cat, but today he just felt like it because he didn't want to get his ass kicked. Ha!

"What?" He asked sourly as he stood in Kyo's doorframe. He looked at the hunk of metal in his hand. "What's that?"

"It's my magical chainsaw." Kyo cooed. "And it's gonna tear you apart."

"Oh, is it?" Yuki asked, frowning at him. "That sounds a bit painful..."

"Tsk! It's meant to!" Kyo retorted, flicking a switch on the side of his machine. "Bleh!"

Kyo smirked as he stabbed Yuki mutiple times through the chest.

"Gah!" Yuki hollered before becoming dead. Kyo laughed. He pointed. "Ha!"

Kyo licked his blood stained fingers. Mmm-mm! Did that blood taste sweet, or what?

"No."

Okay, fine. It was horrible. He puked on Yuki's dead body, before running downstairs in search of Shigure. He flicked a switch on the side, which said "Blender." on it.

"Oh, Shigure, my love?" He called out from behind a corner. "I need some assistance getting this tutu on. Bring a camera, too!"

Shigure jumped the moment he heard the word tutu. He laughed as he grabbed his pocket camera and sprang into the hall.

"Yes?" He asked, looking for Kyo.

"HA!" Kyo blended his brains into a thickshake, which he through a pile of ice cream on. Shigure's head made a nice cup, concidering how large his head is.

"Nooo!" Hollered Tohru sadly. "They're dead."

"Oh well." Kyo coughed. "Now we have to procreate the species."

And so they did.

.xxx.

Kyo curled up in his bed. Sweat pured from his forehead so much, I bet if you squeazed him enough, you could make a sweat drink. Haha, but that's not all that'd come out.

He hobbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, where everyone was already eating.

"You're up late." Yuki commented absentmindedly. Kyo ignored him.

"I just had the weirdest dream." He gasped. "And it went a little something like this..."

(To read Kyo's dream, scroll to the top of the page and read downards.)

**A/N:**

**Nyaaa.**

**I honestly do not know what the freakin' hell this is.**

**Don't even ask.**

**I SAID DON'T!**


End file.
